Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I can read

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

How do you stop your balls from sweating?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can count

Why are people with borderline personality disorder so capable of ripping someone apart with their words?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What qualities do single women typically look for in a man? Is it a common preference for women to want a man who earns more than they do?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I'm a 28-year-old guy who has never been in a relationship, nor can I seem to find someone who wants to be in one with me. Why do I feel like a freak?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Is it possible to become homeless after being released from jail or prison in the United States?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why are fewer English people going to their local pubs for a drink? Are they aware that many pubs are shutting down due to lack of customers?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why are European countries warning European travelers to be careful traveling to the United States?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have a reading level above third grade

My parents force me (15yo atheist) to go to church, and there’s this thing called Small Sundays where we discuss the Bible in groups, there are questions asked about the Bible. What am I supposed to do when they ask?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I actually pay taxes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened